tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56477482011-07-08T04:01:07.261-06:00Pathway_to_WisdomMy attempt at 3 sleepless nights...Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.comBlogger6251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-36284711178394360872010-01-08T14:28:00.002-07:002010-01-08T14:30:02.619-07:00Mom mother rewened it all for me. She always told me I was very smart. Smarter than most, even. This gave me high hopes. No. High expectations. Now that I realize that not to be true - it is hard to remove the expectations.If only she would have told me I was a little dull. Then things would have lined up.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-84171970161230243872009-05-14T10:35:00.002-06:002009-05-14T10:39:28.916-06:00GUILTYI feel guilty when I take a showerI feel guilty when I wash the dishesI feel guilty when I dry the laundryI feel guilty when I driveI feel guilty when I eat meatI feel guilty when I eat most of the good fishesI feel guilty when I want to kill squirrelsI feel guilty when I sleep too lateI feel guilty when I go to bed earlyI feel guilty when I don't run enoughI feel guilty when my knees hurt Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-74262817480781661122009-04-14T16:21:00.003-06:002009-04-14T16:22:25.118-06:00fuck thisi pay and pay and paywho the fuck will pay me????i can be lazy, and not work and buy a huge-fucking house - then YOU will pay mepiece of fucking lazy-ass shit I HATE PAYING FOR YOUMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-13539913963335352472009-03-24T20:42:00.000-06:002009-03-24T20:43:26.960-06:00I am pounding music into my head. poundingget in therestayMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-14010676872813876792009-03-24T07:38:00.001-06:002009-03-24T07:39:41.380-06:00"Why would anyone want a cappuccino? You get more with a latte..."and that's the problem with the worldignorancegreedMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-89877453208203598072009-03-16T02:39:00.002-06:002009-03-16T02:44:47.396-06:00This documentation of this - ha - so called life began with 80 hours awake.I am not near that record now, but am near that degree of weariness. A ong weekend of work (like 4 days of 18 + hour work days - preceded by several days of piss poor sleep in San Fransisco. And now we approach 3 am (the final push) working for a yet-to-be-deturmined $. Chasing that papersuddenly with more workers than Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-5614818167632713032009-03-04T21:36:00.001-07:002009-03-04T21:38:04.891-07:00wow-Did I win? Will I know if indeed I do win? so here is the rub:yes - they will stop stealing from me, but THEY ALREADY SOLE FROM ME.fuckersfuckersfuckersI am meanI will be MEANwatch outMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-85702222701912097722009-02-19T20:20:00.002-07:002009-02-19T20:24:43.343-07:00THE BIGEST INSIGHT IN MANY YEARSgoes something like this:scarcity breeds awemy grandpa was excited about walnuts, and oranges as a young lad. And he ALWAYS was the most amazed and happy with what I considered normal. He saved string. I got CDs.But how happy he was when I caught a football.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-82091695183226985502009-02-19T19:46:00.001-07:002009-02-19T19:46:49.746-07:00Just need the camera (if I need it) by next Friday.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-84537438792558149532009-02-19T19:16:00.002-07:002009-02-19T19:18:20.992-07:00There is power in information. kidsdon't let them fool youpower in information existsand I SHALL TRY TO UTILIZE IT.(give me a few months, ya know to see if it works)Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-57616403301419347682009-02-10T10:44:00.001-07:002009-02-10T10:44:34.317-07:00I cursed at a few geese during the later stages of a run yesterday.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-64388792272115416222009-01-27T11:42:00.001-07:002009-01-27T11:42:58.167-07:00wordit is a word; so it means what it is. odd little fellaMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-10985145190451017472009-01-14T06:50:00.002-07:002009-01-14T06:52:24.099-07:00ahhhhhhh wyomingnothing beats a big project in Wyoming. nothing except a big project in an underground MINE in Wyoming! I've said it before, and I'll say it again; Everything's more fun if a tunnel is involved.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-39351434741287694652009-01-13T09:10:00.002-07:002009-01-13T09:13:29.980-07:00great run:plowing through the 4 inches of fresh snow through the combination of warming sunshine and isolated blizzards of piles of snow blowing from large treesyesterday around noon, if it matters. (was when that run transpired)Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-38468820925044243832009-01-07T09:20:00.001-07:002009-01-07T09:21:37.605-07:00Why can't ALL DAY, EVERY DAY I have the energy of the hour or so after a large cup of coffee on an empty stomach and a decent night sleep?with that kind of power I'd be unstoppableMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-52826341168074123852009-01-06T09:26:00.001-07:002009-01-06T09:27:39.204-07:00complain complain complainworry"those people who don't read"but wait - there is something people can do. subscribe to the paper.oh shitok, fine - I'll do what I hope others will do (or should do)MORE TO READ 4 MEMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-66532566134122028722009-01-02T10:25:00.001-07:002009-01-02T10:25:31.803-07:00I often prefer to be alone in a crowded roomMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-40651581971350753212008-12-29T22:13:00.002-07:002008-12-29T22:39:36.633-07:00a long assignment in Phoenix makes me tired and content. what kind of nut job is content after hard work? I ask, and you might ask... but he is me. I love to work. Even if I am not good at it. I guess, anything to keep my mind occupied in a productive manner is so good.please keep 'em commingMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-9006031631839286172008-12-23T17:43:00.001-07:002008-12-23T17:43:56.200-07:00ok - gonna go home and try againMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-15928232859238507172008-12-22T10:12:00.002-07:002008-12-22T10:15:33.672-07:00it was cold, I didn't feel like running. The teens are too cold to run, I said. mid-twenties - ok for a quick one, I said. Thirties are ok, I said.then I got homegeez - this is what's wrong with mefucking lazy and afraid of a bit of discomfortso out I went. 30 minutes in 15 degree weather won't kill you. I must not become (more) wimpyMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-59364154635407420512008-12-05T16:14:00.001-07:002008-12-05T16:14:42.516-07:00obsess much?i might should stop itit's donei triedMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-34754940831719174772008-12-01T18:46:00.002-07:002008-12-01T18:48:50.980-07:00Sometimes I am happy - - no, - - proud to be living through this history. Almost wishing things to get worse, so I can live through it.maybe I need difficultiesor i wish to punish everyone elseMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-38492914034620798502008-12-01T17:28:00.001-07:002008-12-01T17:28:30.837-07:00MUST.MOVE.FORWARD.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-13550438911277075622008-11-13T08:13:00.002-07:002008-11-13T08:13:49.107-07:003 of the 4 people at our house for dinner last night didn't have paying work lined up much into the future.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-43411047506546106582008-11-03T11:39:00.002-07:002008-11-03T11:42:52.374-07:00ok - SO much to say today!!! ?1.)- :; kids are smart. Minimize effort while Maximize candy. 2).-:; - - Oddly, getting beat by one person in one field is easier than another. However getting beat by that first person in a different area would be bad too. hmmm 3 I am consistantMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-44002332319227265022008-10-27T12:03:00.001-06:002008-10-27T12:03:43.289-06:00We shall see.I just did to THEM what THEY often to me. now to see how things shake out...Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-16037151674747487432008-10-10T09:42:00.002-06:002008-10-10T09:49:03.235-06:00Relief. for 1 day.in the form of a nice 1 hour 12 minute run. Such a beautiful place to run it was. Beginning in a small parking lot just a stone throw away from the I-70 (literally, as some gravel could have flung itself from the tires of a Wal-Mart truck to my location) and followed a creek past a mental institution/minimum security prison (oh yes, I could see people lifting weights Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-19271581131760795142008-10-08T16:03:00.002-06:002008-10-08T16:04:35.968-06:00there is a lot I didn't know about, that I am now learning fairly easily from this fucking internet.who knewand these things are different than all those things I wish I knew, but don't... these are more concreteMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-24570325523666238862008-10-02T12:22:00.000-06:002008-10-02T12:23:28.200-06:00REJECTEDbut to be honest - I was happy to just get a personal rejection emailMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-10779755869422153622008-09-30T10:57:00.002-06:002008-09-30T11:00:09.405-06:00oh helloyes. I have been thinking again. Thinking about the future, and goals and such. I might be able to achieve a goal - if I could decide on what to set as a goal. oh shit. an idea!?my goal might be to make a goal. hmmm.... accomplished, right?what direction do I want to take? Big time studio? ambient light - "moment" guynot too sure.which do you think I should go after?which Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-33565622051496427782008-09-24T15:48:00.000-06:002008-09-24T15:49:07.154-06:00I wonder what % of a man I actually amMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-85305397332793170342008-09-23T15:57:00.000-06:002008-09-23T15:58:06.620-06:00i'm a farmerMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-42845158983940887292008-09-17T12:37:00.001-06:002008-09-17T12:37:57.664-06:00I just ate more broccoli in one meal than I ever have before.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-76037625660997372802008-09-15T17:00:00.003-06:002008-09-15T17:01:25.694-06:00Do we need to take money out of the bank and hold that cash under the bed in a tin can tied closed with some green twine?I don't know about you, but I'm wishing I had a few more gold fillings.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-39952680543194607512008-09-03T12:28:00.001-06:002008-09-03T12:29:44.019-06:00indeed time has passed.it always doesI wore my hat a few timesI pushed the button many times.I almost quitMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-79382060644735621432008-08-05T11:51:00.001-06:002008-08-05T11:53:05.409-06:00I don't mind pepper spray. I don't mind tear gas.I don't think the Brown Note would be pleasant.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-33698012765868913542008-07-11T19:13:00.000-06:002008-07-11T19:14:34.333-06:00some things seem to become a little clearer w/o sleepothers become foggyconclusion = it is good to have periods of regular sleep and little sleep. so see more things clearlyMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-16490229884911661552008-07-03T21:24:00.001-06:002008-07-03T21:25:28.877-06:00BUTi wanted to say this:the chair is nice. and I use it every day. so fuck you.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-11921122693252146352008-07-03T21:20:00.002-06:002008-07-03T21:24:00.367-06:00do you hate it when your AC turns on?do you hate it when your car thermostate reveals a # over 100?do you get angry when your Eams Lounge Chair in Palansander wood and Black Leather comes in box that is slightly dinged up?IF so, please contact yuppy.orgalso- - if the bind weed mites don't work as well as you had hoped : please feel free to pummel your local AG representative.oh yea - and also Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-63487158109508807672008-06-19T21:10:00.001-06:002008-06-19T21:11:28.686-06:00i was proud of our house and grass at 2 different times today.and it's amazing how much cool air can enter the house with the door openAND wellum...ok, I've got nothing elsebut maybethatthe chairis to arrive semi-soonMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-78017233047498444492008-06-13T16:25:00.001-06:002008-06-13T16:26:48.299-06:00I am the target audience of a full page ad in the New York Timeswell, me and a bunch of other peoplebutthe thing that really matters hereisthat I am about to buy the thing advertised in the above-mentioned advertisementMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-26322543588961142102008-05-30T12:57:00.002-06:002008-05-30T12:59:05.104-06:00oh man. I just read the first series of posts to this good ol' BLOG of mine. Man was I cool back then. 80 hours, an ordeal (self-imposed) what an adventure. I don't know if I would do that sort of thing these days... it's a shame, really.so maybe I ought to think of some sort of adventure.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-65657853274710830952008-05-30T12:45:00.002-06:002008-05-30T12:52:14.315-06:00by the waythe creativity is still semi-locked-up inside my BRAIN. in fact; and there are so many things to detail, or do simply document this partially locked-up force(?) that below will be a list (hopefully) that is about as accurate as I can make it, given the possibility of inaccurate memory and all, but so, on to the point - detailing some degree of recent displays of slightly restrained Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-77619754567424071892008-05-30T11:59:00.001-06:002008-05-30T12:00:32.614-06:00a new coffee shop. probably won't head this way too often, but a nice change of scenery.U want to know what filled my VOID last night?huh?do ya?SIM CITY.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-30544249663891669682008-05-29T19:19:00.001-06:002008-05-29T19:20:34.602-06:00needy tonightthat's me. for sure.is it good when someone remembers you BUT pegs you as an underling?oh well -Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-29705482816412100462008-05-07T12:23:00.002-06:002008-05-07T12:26:32.020-06:00please don't rob mesoon the delivery man will deliver to me a box that which should contain items valued approximately at the level of a new Kia.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-33445036010508698522008-05-01T14:56:00.002-06:002008-05-01T14:58:04.553-06:00oh geez.well, a good meeting this morning, and a last minute call for something tomorrow might let this whole thing continue for a bit (still)funny how the mortgage won't pay for it's lazy, self-centered ass.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-81333315069867247882008-04-24T18:22:00.002-06:002008-04-24T18:24:25.587-06:00things were grim last night. And they should have been. Today they got a bit better (odd how that happens)I still don't know what to do.The Orange tree in out house is beginning to small very nice.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-46987088508621433382008-04-17T18:11:00.002-06:002008-04-17T18:14:21.354-06:00helloyou are a part of me: er, well - a mirror image documentation of meaccurate, I suppose. Partially dissapeared, but still herefuckFuck DATwhen one comes back, it (I think) NEEDS to pummel the otherMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-45215782891048420262008-03-31T10:43:00.002-06:002008-03-31T10:49:14.084-06:00do only successful people have that 51+% of blackVSwhite over blackandwhite forcing them to (ahhhh and here again is the chicken or the egg fuck of a quandary) a side and thusly allowing direction?Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-54069093971700686852008-03-27T18:10:00.000-06:002008-03-27T18:15:53.985-06:00odd what I was afraid of back thenMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-46615338452224859102008-03-17T10:11:00.003-06:002008-03-17T10:12:59.375-06:00I did it!I finally did it!On Saturday I finally accomplished one of my "things to do before I die" list:Eat a burrito for every meal in a day.yesssss and IT WAS everything I hoped it would benow a new goal; eat dumplings for every meal in a dayMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-64818830981926403472008-03-11T10:46:00.003-06:002008-03-11T10:52:21.543-06:00wow- a very long time again.Since the last time we got a new couch!next is chair. but it must happen before the end of the year. it is our destiny.and i have been interprating legal documentspracticing my contract lawrunning a bitoh yea- and not doing a single thing that is the core of my business. not doing the thing that brings in the money. shameMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-25365267676555312262008-02-20T16:59:00.002-07:002008-02-20T17:01:09.421-07:00i went for a jog today. chilly. soon it will be spring time. wow - running without being cold.and i took a photo the other day. and i will take a photo tomorrowbut best of all, the walls aren't closing inMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-32176544561462118482008-01-04T14:30:00.000-07:002008-01-04T14:32:35.992-07:00oh my. I have sunk to a new low. On my "to do" list I actually haveI'm not kidding"Sort Tupperware"oh boy. please- tell me this doesn't mean what I think it meansand it's good thing I have an ice ax handy... since this is probably a slippery slope.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-58362621531348886112007-12-30T17:51:00.000-07:002007-12-30T17:52:39.141-07:00you'll never guess what I just did. okoki'll tell you.I just finished reading a book. maybe not a novel, but a book printed and bound.those are the bestMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-89697111172330417482007-12-13T10:52:00.000-07:002007-12-13T10:53:03.454-07:00I forgot how to loose myself in headphones inside a coffeeshop and the internet.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-78372045891157356482007-12-12T15:39:00.000-07:002007-12-12T15:44:49.688-07:00ahhhh the 200 mile mark. odd, but I am a bit proud of running that far with that gizmo. but wow- some people run 80-120 miles a WEEKeven so - for now, that's ok.and hopefully I will soon have a resting heart rate below 40. that'd be nice.and along the same line of thought - I think it is crazy, and almost cruel to become pregnant and have a baby without either living at an altitude above Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-67222044641665928432007-12-11T11:49:00.000-07:002007-12-11T11:50:57.499-07:00okok.OK.what can I do better than most?what can I do better than some?what can I do?I am in dire need to do something well.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-67054021893963559512007-12-03T16:29:00.000-07:002007-12-03T16:30:41.416-07:00long long timeit's funny how when work is busy it is hard to find time to blog, and when work is slow it is hard to find time to blog.need more workMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-55654443998436416462007-11-05T16:34:00.000-07:002007-11-05T16:35:33.636-07:00ahhhhh monday. I like Monday the most. Because it is finally acceptable to work again.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-72491299460865146982007-10-23T19:33:00.000-06:002007-10-23T19:42:01.779-06:00i got chased by 3 dogs today. 3 different dogs, from 3 different farm houses. That's right.I was out on a run and decided it would be safer to get off the highway and run on a dirt road. haha! ha.I intended on going about 1 mile up the dirt road and turning back - making for a nice 4 mile afternoon run. Around the half-mile mark a dog began barking from the house across the street. I just Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-84400443721474905452007-10-16T02:48:00.000-06:002007-10-16T02:50:09.828-06:00wow. what a night. i am very glad i was there - but man, I could have done better. I shouldn't be so afraid to use the glass...well, there's always the world seriesMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-2166574711169929982007-10-11T15:35:00.000-06:002007-10-11T15:37:25.328-06:00i am working on becoming a runner again. good timing - as the winter season of SNOW and ICE is just around the corner.But I suppose that will only make me tougher.a talk last night reminded me that I am about as tough as a noodle soaked in boiling water for over 1 hour.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-20259485838593371202007-10-03T11:26:00.001-06:002007-10-03T11:28:05.779-06:00long days of work lead to exhaustionmultiple long days of work lead to stupid mistakespull it together dudeMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-64220242978851273652007-09-10T16:14:00.000-06:002007-09-10T16:15:30.728-06:00how much money should I make?would more money make me feel more succesful?should I concentrate on less money, but better pictures?am I too young to be thinking about this?Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-678235728262348622007-09-06T15:02:00.000-06:002007-09-06T15:03:23.230-06:00one day I am smart enough. the next I am not.today?but really. and not, but just to haveand pleaseMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-26132000561683882182007-09-05T16:00:00.001-06:002007-09-05T16:00:48.590-06:00wow my foot hurts.better get better soon.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-560893134549989352007-09-01T11:25:00.000-06:002007-09-01T11:26:17.947-06:00holy moly i am tired.i haven't done anything, mostly sat here, but i am timredMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-77030122122484604232007-08-21T17:29:00.000-06:002007-08-21T17:31:48.529-06:00oh myand it must be time for me to begin THAT push (again, but different)Why do THEY think HE is better?I will be better. tomorrow will be proof to one of THEMbutall of THEMwill not seeI am smart enough. I have finally seen enough. The OTHERS should be afraidMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-56427844846843506362007-08-03T21:53:00.000-06:002007-08-03T21:55:41.665-06:00in addition to the requirement of predicting the future (on a regular basis) I now have to make the same thing look different (over and over again). maybe that is what I am good at.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-36041595823644627302007-08-02T10:46:00.000-06:002007-08-02T10:48:01.871-06:00have you ever wanted to grind espresso beans, seal them in a double tea bag and cram the packet in your car?Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-25493725027537358062007-08-01T09:03:00.000-06:002007-08-01T09:04:48.183-06:00can you believe that today is August?fuck, looks like the summer is here?I would like to invent a form of poetry similar to the hiku - but betterMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1759349054021566602007-07-13T19:43:00.001-06:002007-07-13T19:49:01.894-06:00there is nothing shameful, or inherantly wrong with wanting to be alone (not even alone, really - but just not in a group)I shouldn't have to offer a reason to return a glass of wine with a crack running the legnth of the glass.i can not predict the futurei should not feel obligated to predict the future with 100% accuracysomeday people will go out of their way to talk with me. no use wasting Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-38514447272195427702007-07-05T10:02:00.000-06:002007-07-05T10:03:54.411-06:00wow-i don't think there is anything i can do that others can't do better. does that mean i should try something differentMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-84706106036429054332007-06-26T18:44:00.001-06:002007-06-26T18:45:05.098-06:00i am very angry - and am so, so tired of things going wrong.i don't know what to doMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-52856940058019348952007-06-18T17:02:00.000-06:002007-06-18T17:04:30.876-06:00bad running luck:a few whiles ago some hoodlums threw a full cup of soda from a moving suv at metoday a dog-off-leash ran across a small clearing and tripped me (I ate it good, too)6:095:57 (including time to get back up)5:535:56Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-76076829773681125492007-06-12T17:01:00.000-06:002007-06-12T17:02:52.997-06:00with my vision fading back to sharp I feel almost important. I don't know why, but trips to the Eye Doc seem to do that to me. Maybe I hope to be able to pick the actual sharpest between "1" "2" and on ocasion "3"i, after all, ought to be damn good at that.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-68166420226080839552007-06-05T14:49:00.000-06:002007-06-05T14:51:24.238-06:00aha! the terrible latte Monday morning was NOT the fault of the coffee-machiene, NOT the fault of the beans, NOT the fault of the coffee-machine-operator -- but the spoiled milk!Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-91457975062141883482007-06-01T10:53:00.001-06:002007-06-01T10:54:11.804-06:00i think that maybe in 2 years I will forget all that is mentally so hard now.but i think that is the onloy solutionMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-37411369995654683662007-05-29T17:15:00.000-06:002007-05-29T17:20:24.682-06:00as i put on my safari hat, gortex jacket and grabbed plastic enclosed cameras I stepped outside. The hail didn't hurt, so I headded into the street. when I was out on the sidewalk - exposed to the complete pummeling the storm offered - I began to look for other people. But only when I saw a neighbor scuttle into his house did I realize why I do this... he was headding in, and I was Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-16574453233048000852007-05-17T11:33:00.000-06:002007-05-17T11:35:22.203-06:00it looks like another day. indeed.i could only muster the energy for 3 mile repeats. i was hoping for 4. but my body feels much better witha little speed training. build muscle to help the knees. I don't even know if it was a real mile. but the distance around a lake. yep. that's allMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-79430940792211506842007-05-16T15:26:00.000-06:002007-05-16T15:28:08.383-06:00I just keep getting beaten down, and beaten down. I wonder when I should quit. Can I pay the mortgage working at the mall?there used to be incentives - a little piece of cheese here and there. there used to be good days followed by bad days. now it is mostly rocks being pelted at me...Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-90735623866158710702007-05-11T09:19:00.000-06:002007-05-11T09:22:08.063-06:00looks like it's been a month. there's banking to be done, debt collecing, archiving and accounting. That's just for today. Next will be some advertising, and maybe core business activities later next week. funny - and people think all I do is push the button.i haven't called friends back.i haven't called business contacts back.it's almost time to make a list of goals - - so i can have a Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-66781018364206835302007-04-10T08:23:00.000-06:002007-04-10T08:24:20.949-06:00why didn'tyou tell me i had some sort of bipolar tendenciesMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-77198482632438198582007-04-03T10:36:00.000-06:002007-04-03T10:37:26.988-06:00I have a defective product that cost me significant hardship and loss. I have to pay to ship it back for repair - - yep, I have to pay to fix their faulty product. the guy on the phone didn't see why I would have a problem with thatwhat the fuck is the matter with peopleso many fucking idiotsMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-43232072857927033722007-03-28T17:26:00.000-06:002007-03-28T17:27:54.471-06:00wowit's all I should say.other than what a hard few weeks that just was.i hope things get better.house:people just left - job unfinished. hummmmjob:nothing new to report. but i am in need of something good soon.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-2196100800860224692007-03-21T20:38:00.000-06:002007-03-21T20:40:18.694-06:00such long days.no overtime pay.being chewed out for things.i'm tired.the house still keeps me up at nighti just don't have the energyMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-2856651974806242472007-03-09T11:43:00.000-07:002007-03-09T11:44:20.507-07:00after washing the windows on my car, and even washing the mirrors, i seem to have almost added windows. fucking dirty but now cleaner.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1170961159078962552007-02-08T11:57:00.000-07:002007-02-08T11:59:19.113-07:00i might have figured out what some crazy talk stood for.but then again, only tomorrow will tellMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1170793206358286782007-02-06T13:18:00.000-07:002007-02-06T13:20:06.373-07:00i know it'll be a long winter when I have to turn the music up to avoid hearing the water dripping from the leaking roof to the many spots in our house.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1168622414499400382007-01-12T10:18:00.000-07:002007-01-12T10:20:14.516-07:00i remember the last time i had a decision to make about gear. the last big one, anyway. and i made the hard (read: expensive) decision - and it paid off. so maybe - - hopefully - - this one will too.it helps that i just booked a job 16 months in advance.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1168100993357168622007-01-06T09:28:00.000-07:002007-01-06T09:29:53.373-07:00there's nothing worse than feeling cheeted out of your life savings.i guess other than the fact that i am powerless remedy the situation.and maybe i just deserve itMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1168012778165694132007-01-05T08:59:00.000-07:002007-01-05T08:59:38.180-07:00things just don't get betterMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1167927542706313972007-01-04T09:18:00.000-07:002007-01-04T09:19:02.756-07:00it's been a long time...i have nothing new to say.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1166681854728791592006-12-20T23:16:00.000-07:002006-12-20T23:17:34.743-07:00Mr.PlowThat's my name.that name again is Mr.Plowmotherfucking ton of snow today!what a treat.me and the neighbor shoveled for over an hour. yep. shoveled the alley. shoveled the driveway. shoveled the courtyard. shoveled the walk. tomorrow gonna shovel the deck.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1165280075366362082006-12-04T17:53:00.000-07:002006-12-04T17:54:35.366-07:00and please remind me that this (buying a house)is as big of an adventure OR BIGGERthan a trip.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1165279966799011502006-12-04T17:51:00.000-07:002006-12-04T17:52:46.813-07:00when the music is loudandthe high speed internet is workingandItalian pendants are glowing softlyi knowwedidwellMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1164760833722691292006-11-28T17:34:00.000-07:002006-11-28T17:40:33.723-07:00oh yea-no one asked (suprise there!)so here is the chair you were supposed to ask aboutMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5647748.post-1164760247522374742006-11-28T17:26:00.000-07:002006-11-28T17:30:47.540-07:00It is beginning to snow. so cold outside. but standing at our wall of glass, looking out to the courtyard, the snow falling in big flakes, just dusting the japaneese garden outside I am happy. We worked hard for this. fought for this. I wish she was here now to share the view, but there will be many nights like this, and many more truly unique things to amaze us and remind how perfect Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06606152988590816733noreply@blogger.com0