Here we go again:

In a coffee shop in Bozeman. Almost missed the flight here, had to utilize many many skills to get on the plane (thanks to many people for skill development such as dad, andy, steve...)

Ate some food, saw my stuff in a few good places, sent an email in spanish, sent a few others in my best attempt at english

i need to figure out a way to better manage the business. Focus on operations.

An actual vacation came and went. i'll do it again.

I'm ready for a break from this break-neck work pace - - or the money to make it worth-while.

fucking money

fucking housing market

fucking desires

fucking image

fucking image problems

fucking a lot of more things that the abovementioned pace won't allow for me to elaborate any further...

So I am old. we are getting old. Elaine and I rode on a ride at Lakeside and both of us got sick. not vomiting, but queezy and off-kilter. we even sat around for like 30 minutes to get back to normal. what the fuck. I guess my dreams of being an ASTRONAUT are over... UNLESS, maybe! YES. I was sick because the ride didn't spin fast enough. that must be it. my body was hyper prepared, and over compensated.

so tired

wow dude (I guess maybe what I was trying to say is wooooahhhhh dude, actually)

whirlwind.

I've read a good book, eaten a lot of good meals and skipped about as many. I feel almost guilty now - maybe because this is so cool, and maybe because I don't work hard enough, and maybe because I fear my work doesn't merrit these rewards, and maybe because I'm nearing exhaustion.

I've had my luggage lost (twice), a flight cancelled, seen some cool shit, talked with some pretty fucking influential people. I know I've dreamed of living a month almost exactily like this for years.



I learned something (else) from someone wonderful last night. It was something I (and everyone) probably knows - but, for me, it must have been only on a subconsious level. but it is this: when making a moral/ethical decision and what I want to do makes me seek the approval/backing of others - it probably is a poor decision.


And I think that all of this is how a lot of this came about. my paranoia, self-doubt, my drive to pursue the next step. my guilt. for knowing that I'm not preforming near my potential, not working hard as I could, not giving 100%.
BUT I am getting better. I'm giving a lot, and trying hard (most of the time)
I shouldn't feel bad because I am here.
I shouldn't feel bad because I'm here.
I should not feel bad because I'm here.

So a few friends and I were chatting with Sergey Brin (one of the cofounders of Google - ya know) and then 'ol Steve Jobs walks by and stops to chat. we all talked for a while. really.

So I'm back in Sun Valley-

same people,same scedule, same goods and bads.
but I am glad to be OUT, and working

and now back to that out and working business