I say (and think) that I really want certain things. But I now notice that I don't regularly put myself into a position where "that" happens. So maybe I really don't want them. Or maybe I need to DO SOMETHING.

Don't know.

something else I don't know:
a few people have specifically mentioned watching my "carreer" latley. I'm just a guy. just a guy sitting in starbucks trying to catch up from racing around. I'm too far in the middle to see this carreer - or (damn) - I need to focus on actually developing and moving forward with this "career" thing.