Several things to post tonight.

I am happy I am here alone (besides the fact it hurts to talk, and I would feel obligated to talk if someone was here) I feel more comfterable here alone. This is my deal, and I'm dealing with it. I don't have to let anyone in - thus - making a bond, a connection.

This also reminds me of a bit from a great book Infinite Jest - where a guy won't take pain killers for his multiple-gunshot wounds because he is a recovering addict and doesn't want to break all his work. He mentions that each individual second is not unbareable... so just string them together. (now I am not saying that this is anywhere near real pain, but it made me think of that part)

I need to save 6 vikoden to put in my backpacking/travel first aid kit.