But just now a peaceful calmness and understanding swept through me. Maybe for just a second I held the truth - unconsiously it rose to a place in my mind deep enough where I still can't access it, but close enough to make a marked difference in general well-being (untill, of course, it burries itself back down into the super-subconsious or maybe even the collective unconsious - if you're a little nuts)

Like for just a second I felt as if everything was going to be ok. Everything that has been torturing my mind, flogging my selfrespect and slowly peeling the skin off the arms of my self-esteem leaving a bloody mess of muscle and tendon and bizzar flaps of somehting that doesn't seem to belong there - maybe they are all going to go away. Maybe they are not really doing these things, but it is a dream and I'll wake up reaching to nurse my bloody arms and find the normal slightly dry skin still intact. Or maybe the peace was just showing me what could be, if I could just figure out what actually was doing the peeling and how I can stop it. And if everything is reality - including this - I'm going insane.