Fun was had last night. I was the dick for about the first time and enjoyed it. Hopefully I will let it get to my head.

WE NEED A RIDE HOME!

I almost thought about buying a new stereo component. Damn that void.

Can happyness come naturally or must it be earned through suffering, work and experience? Forces pull me to believe the suffering pathway... why? I feel I have never really suffered and am missing that excess; so I try (unconsiously) to create a mildly (not extreme like one imagines when thinking of suffering) suffering existance.

What am I doing, and why am I doing it? I seem to make a habbit of passing up promising oportunities and grinding away at the difficult.

oh yes... what is the matter with people. First they want Christmas off from work. THEN, well, maybe people shouldn't work the day BEFORE Christmas. now people want to take the whole week off. What's the matter with these people? Shit, I feel like taking March off too. Maybe I will. Yes, March it is. And, December; why not? You know, screw it. I'm taking a few years off. yes. yes I will.

Ok, so it is fun to listen to music and watch the "silent" people interact (and look at me)

I amlost forgot to mention a very important thing:

The Weekend of Matt;
I only worked for 3 hours the entire weekend and just did fun things. It was very plesent, and should be repeated.

So Justin and I went to the mall to get a coffee and sit and watch the people. Great fun. We kind of felt like old men just going to the mall to sit and watch people, talk.

when is christmas?

fuck. why the fuck can't people fucking tell you all the vital information. Oh, by the way you can't use lights, I can't be there THIS sunday, you can't sit on the chairs. FUCK YOU. fuck you twice you fucking whore.

those piece of shit fucking mother fucks. Goddamn There is no problem with making money. nothing. FUCK, but those gaddamn fucks who do it by screwing others; everyone of them in upper management, who make decisions, should be lined up... fucking lined up.

ok, so hum. yes. hum. Well, so to get over the mind's barrier you must use your mind. can you devide your mnd's tasks like that or is it simply a slowly turning of tides....

It is amazing how much of a barrier your mind can be. I have known this for a long time, but overcomming it takes time.